Happy Father's Day

Today is the first Father's Day without my dad. It's been a tough day for me, as I know that it's a day that we would have certainly spent together. I just miss him. Even though we couldn't talk in the end...I miss his thumbs up, I miss his smile, and I miss his hugs that took so much effort. In honor of him, I thought I would post the words from my talk that I gave at his life celebration:  

 

As I was preparing for my talk today, I realized that many of you here may not have ever known my dad, or maybe only met him in the recent years, where he really couldn’t communicate well.  That being said, I’d like to share with all of you a little bit about who he was, as well as some of my favorite memories.

I first met Jon Oliver Bolstad back in June of 1975. We got off to a little bit of a rough start, because I showed up a month earlier than was planned, which resulted in a lot of concern and worry on his part. That wouldn’t be the last time that “one of his favorite daughters” as he used to say, would cause him worry, but we went on to have what was MOSTLY a great relationship. You know, other than in those teenage years where he was trying to ruin my life.   

There is so much of my dad in me and so much that I think of each and every day that he gave to me. There are of course, the physical traits (my legs and feet are ALL him and I’m super smart like he was), there are the personality traits (Thankfully I’m not as stubborn as he was. I’m not. No really, I’m not.), but also some valuable skills.  He taught me how to trim branches on a tree, pack a car for a road trip with extreme efficiency, to love and appreciate the outdoors and how to be a MASTER at the art of procrastination. I remember him staying up all night writing proposals the day before they were due. Guess when I wrote my talk?

In addition to these things, my dad also taught me some valuable life lessons.

Life Lesson #1: To be wise with money. Now while we were growing up, this was SUPER annoying. We drove around town to find the best deals, we shopped at thrift stores…for clothes….in Jr High and High School, we clipped coupons and it was all because he didn’t want to spend a penny more than was necessary. Now…do I think that maybe, just maybe, I deserved more than ONE Esprit sweatshirt in 7^th grade? Yes. But…we lived a very simple life, although we didn’t have to. And, being smart with money has been ENGRAINED in my mind and I will be forever grateful that he taught me to live a simple life. Not to go without, but to be conscious of the money that I spend and appreciate the things that I have.

Life Lesson #2: Nothing comes easy in life…you have to work for it. My dad was a hard worker and he had high expectations for us. But those expectations helped me to always strive to do my best. I am SO grateful that he paid for my college tuition, but it was a scholarship program….not a gift. There were many lessons that he made me learn the hard way, but what an example he was of how hard work and determination pay off.

Life Lesson #3: Love isn’t only shown in the words you say, but in the things you do.  Not until within the last year did I hear my dad speak the words “I love you.” That’s probably pretty shocking to most of you, considering it’s pretty obvious how much I love my dad. The thing is, I never doubted whether or not he did because he showed it in so many other ways. He was big on hugs…. His parents never hugged him as a child and I think he gave us all of the hugs that he never got. Just like him, I think I say “I love you” to Hailee enough to make up for the ones I didn’t hear.    

Life Lesson #4:  If you’re unhappy with your current situation, then do something about it. He left a good paying job to start his own company. He didn’t pay himself for over a year (see Life Lesson #1), but he knew that nothing was going to change unless he changed the situation. In an article that was written about him in the Post Register, when asked why he started the company, he said “I was tired of working for other people. And I want to do something that I would be proud of when I’m 81.” It breaks my heart that he didn’t make it to 81, but I know that he lived a life that he can be proud of and I certainly know that I’m proud of the legacy that he has left behind.

Thank you, Daddy, for the lessons that you taught me and for being such a fighter. Thank you for taking Heidi and I camping, just the three of us and creating my favorite childhood memory. I will never forget when you dropped that hamburger on the floor of the VW camper, brushed it off and threw it back in the pan.  Thank you for letting me take typing class in High School, even though you thought it was a waste of time. It’s certainly served me well and I have to admit I’m happy that I don’t have to hunt and peck like you did.  Thank you for the phone conversations that got me through some really hard times. Thank you for not killing me like I thought you would when I totaled Grandma’s pickup. Thank you for all of the advice on the thousands of decisions I came to you with. I think I’ve finally learned how to make the some simple ones on my own, but will continue to look to you for guidance. Thank you for noticing that I did, in fact, pick at my chicken pock and tell you that I didn’t. Had it not been for that, I would have never heard you say “You’ll go to jail for lying some day.”

And thank you for trying your hardest to stick around until Robie Race Day and for the bond that we shared at the very end because of it. I missed you like crazy that day, but also found peace in knowing that you had the best view possible and that you most definitely said “Good Kari” at the end, as you always did when I’d made you proud. I love you, Daddy. 

Happy Father's Day, Daddy. I know you had a good day...