Can't get enough....

I seriously cannot get enough of this video....they are so stinking CUTE! Hailee and I watched this last night and were dying. There was an awkward moment when she asked if Sophia sings better than she does.  At which point I just avoided the question and clicked on the next video.   

Week of Thanks...Tuesday

I asked Hailee tonight what the top 5 things were that she's thankful for this year.  I looked back on last year's list and it's very similar. Turns out that I haven't screwed her up in the last year and she still places value in the "right" things. Yay for me!  Here is her list:

1. Family

2. Friends

3. Pets

4. Food

5. Shelter

Since her list is so good, I thought maybe I'd come up with my top-5-things-I-am-thankful-for-but-would-never-say-at-the-dinner-table-list:

1. That Jillian Michaels can't hear me while I'm working out to her DVD.  Pretty sure she could, and would, kick my ass if she knew what I was yelling at her.

2. That I can go four days easy without washing my hair and you really can't tell.  It might not smell great, but it totally doesn't get greasy.  

3. That I can walk away from potato chips, no problem.  Tortilla chips, cheese, chocolate, cake and cookies, no.  But potato chips, yes.

4. Kitty litter that clumps. Pure genius.

5. That I don't have to share a bathroom with the boys at work anymore. Our new building actually has a women's restroom...and I've yet to run into another woman in it!

Of course, I have my own list of the truly important items that I couldn't live without and feel so blessed to have.  But it's late, and I'm tired and I just can't pull off the meaningful and well thought out list.  So instead, you get the quick and random list of things that come across my mind often.  All wonderful things in Kari's Korner...  

It's amazing how quickly they change...

Sigh...I was just looking through my pictures from last year and our new ones.  I can't believe how much my baby girl has changed in one year!!!  

Fall 2010

Fall 2011

Week of thanks...2011 edition

I'm back!  And just in time for this year's edition of Week of Thanks!  It's actually a coincidence that I sat down to write tonight, but I'm going with it.  And, I'm going to head straight into the topic I had on my mind before I end up being distracted and another year goes by.  I have a whole week to write about the bazillion things that I'm thankful for.  But tonight, I'm thankful that I have a little girl that is full to the top with confidence.

The girl just has it. She walks around day in and day out with a "Yeah...I've got this" attitude about her. Sometimes it's kind of annoying (I'm being honest...all kids are annoying sometimes), but much of the time it's pretty entertaining.  And...I'm glad that she believes in herself, because I sure think she's an amazing kid and I hope that she keeps that confidence as she grows up.  

There have been a few times in the last few months that I need to document so I can use such stories to deflate her when she's a teenager and her head gets too big. Just kidding. Maybe.  

She played her third season of soccer this fall on a team with other girls her age. You know those kids that are just natural athletes? They just get it.  They get out on the field and give it their all, they are not afraid to be aggressive, they are fast, they race after the ball, they are able to implement the skills they learn in practice.  You know those kids, right?  Yeah...well Hailee isn't one of them. She loves playing and she's really good...at following the herd of girls around the field.  But bless her little heart, she gets out there and plays and has fun.  And when one of her team mates falls down (which happens a lot), when all the other girls are cruising down the field to make the next big play, Hailee is the one that stops to make sure her friend is okay and help her up.  I'll take that over MVP any day. 

Anyway...we had to miss a game this year to go to a BSU game. Mind you, she's been DYING to go to a BSU game for the last 2 years.  In fact, when I started dating Greg (a BSU grad), she said "FINALLY! I've been WAITING for you to meet someone who's a Bronco!"  So, when I told her that he got us tickets to the game, but that we'd have to miss her game, I was a bit surprised by her less than enthusiastic response.  "Aren't you excited, Hailee?"  Big sigh....  "Yeah...but I don't know if it's good that I miss a game. I'm pretty much one of the best players on the team."  I reassured her that although she was an important player, that her team would probably be just fine without her. 

About a month later, we went to a birthday party that a friend was throwing for her son.  Hailee didn't know a single kid, but within five minutes was off running around and making new friends. Huge bonus to having a confident child...if she can go play with kids, that's WAY better than hanging around with mom!  When it came time for the pinata, I sat with her as we watched a couple of the boys take their turns with the bat.  Pretty soon, Hailee turns to me and says "Mom, I better go try. You know, since I played t-ball."  I just smiled and thought to myself "Hmm....not sure if standing on base and introducing yourself to everyone that ran by really counts as PLAYING t-ball."  Apparently the promise of falling candy was the missing component to that sport....   

Fast forward to tonight. Greg and I decided that we wanted to run the Turkey Day 5K on Thursday.  He's ran a marathon and a gazillion half marathons, so a 5K is just a fun little way to get some exercise in before we stuff ourselves silly.  Initially I assumed that I wouldn't be able to since I have Hailee, but then decided that maybe she'd want to do it!  It's a flat course around downtown Boise and worst case scenario we could cut back across if need be. I wasn't very optimistic that she'd want to do it, considering the exertion levels I've seen from her in the above stated scenarios.  But, I talked to her about it last night and told her to think about it.

This morning she wakes up and says, "I've decided to do the race.  I thought about it so much that I dreamt about it! I want to do it."  She has already decided what she's going to wear and "practiced" today at my mom's house by running around the tennis court.  Once.  

Me:So I hear you practiced today at Mormor's house.  Do you think you're ready?

H:Yep!  So, at the race, I have to stay with you, right?

Me: Yes. Don't worry, Hailee. I'll stay with you the whole time.

H: Siiiiiiiigh. I hope you guys can run as fast as I can. I wonder if I'll win.

I'm just hoping that confidence carries through Thursday morning. But most of all...I hope that I can keep up!  

Light as a feather...

So...yeah...it's been awhile.

Before I get started on the topic of the day, I have to say that I'm giggling a little bit at myself right now.  Why? Because I'm a dork, that's why.  Back before technology and blogs and Facebook I used to keep track of life events in a journal.  In high school I wrote in it diligently.  Come to think of it, I should find that because I'm sure it would be very entertaining to read through.  I think it was Jill that got me started (yes, Jill....you).  In college I did pretty well for the first while and then, well, the entries started getting more and more spread apart.  The whole point of this is that when I would go to write a new entry and realize that it had been 6 months or a year or whatever, I'd start the entry with "Wow!  It's been awhile!" or something of the sorts.  Why I thought that I needed to make excuses for myself to myself, I'm not sure why.  Like I couldn't look at the dates and figure it out?  Unlike this blog, which undoubtedly will be read by millions, no one else will probably ever read those entries, so why start it that way?!  Dork.

Anyway...it HAS been awhile!  There has certainly not been a lack of things going on, but just finding the time to sit down and write has been challenging.  Nonetheless, I felt inspired to do so today!

In a way, I feel like today is the close of one chapter and the beginning of another.  Actually...it's more like the end of one book and the beginning of the next in the series that I call LIFE.  And let me tell you, it feels amazing!  I feel like a huge weight on my shoulders has been lifted.  And as I sit here reflecting, I just have to wonder how many of you have a "thing" in your lives.  Some "thing" that has been there, waiting patiently in the background to be dealt with.  Some "thing" that has kept you from truly moving forward in your path of life. Some "thing" that has come and gone in your thoughts frequently, but dismissed over and over again.  Some "thing" that you desperately want to take action on, but just can't do it. Some "thing" that is so painful that you just want it to go away.  It won't. Trust me.        

For six years, almost to the day, I've had such a "thing".  For six years, I've been trying to figure out when and where to share with Hailee that she has a sister that was born one day before her 1st birthday.  For three years, I tried to cope with being in a marriage when I knew there was another child out there that didn't belong to me, but who was Hailee's sister.  For three years after that, I tried to be patient, hoping that her father would make the choice to be in this child's life and bring them together.  For one year, I've watched Hailee play with her sister on the playground at school, not knowing that she was much more than a friend.  For one month, I've talked and fought and begged for them to know.  And today...today that secret is no longer a secret. Today Hailee went to school knowing that her little kindergarten friend, Katie, is also her sister.  Today they talked on the playground and told all of their friends. Today they know the truth and today starts the beginning of a new relationship and a new chapter for the two of them.  And today....today is the end of that story for me.  No more unfinished business. No more pain. No more secrets. Today marks a new beginning...and somehow I just know that this story will have a fairy tale ending.

If you have a "thing"...whether it's big or small...I encourage you to take action. Don't shelf it. Don't ignore it and don't let anyone else force you to do that either.  It's your life. Grab hold of the "thing" and face it. It will be difficult.  It will hurt.  But the pain that you experience initially will be much less than the pain you will feel over the course of your life if you don't.  And the relief and joy you will feel when you've faced it, will make it worth it.  

Doin' some shoein'

I love, love, love to snowshoe.  The solitude, the crisp winter air, the exercise, the scenery...you just can't beat it!  Naturally, I want the people that I love to do the things that I love...who wants to go alone?  So, this year, Hailee got snowshoes for Christmas.  Her fake enthusiasm when she opened the present led me to believe that she was really hoping the box was a zhu zhu hotel or a Barbie Ferrari, but let's be honest in that the present was really for me!  Similar to the tag-a-long bike for her birthday, I knew that I'd love it for her, but wasn't SURE that she would.  Well...today her new snowshoes took their maiden voyage and I'm happy to report that it was a huge success!  I've been talking it up BIG TIME since Christmas, so today I finally got her to agree to go!  

We drove up the hill to Bogus (have I mentioned that I love living in Idaho?) and it only took us about 30 minutes.  This was after we made a stop at the grocery store for snacks, Starbucks for patience in a cup and Sport's Authority to get snowpants.  She fell asleep on the way up, so I got to listen to music, drink my coffee and enjoy the scenery.  Not that I couldn't do that with her awake, but you know....

We had a quick PB&J in the lodge and headed out!  She was so excited and looked so stinkin' cute!

 

She did SO good...I was a proud mama.  Let's just say that the child doesn't really have a history of being a super athlete...so I fully expected to hear whining and complaining the ENTIRE way.  But...it was only about half of the way!  I'm short on time, so here's the condensed version before I forget it all....  

The trail started downhill..."This is easy!"  

Wanted to go off trail a little bit...fell down and got snow down the back of her pants...."I want to go back!" 

Convinced her to keep going...climbed up to a tree and made snow fall on herself.  This was entertaining for at least 10 minutes.

We carried on and she followed in my tracks for awhile..."Look Mommy, I'm a mini you!"  Awww...  

Wrote our names in the snow and drew pictures..."This is the best day ever!"

Talked about how we can do this for the rest of our lives together...."What about when you're dead?"  "Well, that wouldn't be part of my life anymore would it?" 

Oops...missed a turn somewhere..."My legs are HURTING!"  Here we go...

We see a steep uphill trail..."Let's go there!"  Mom looks at map and figures out that we actually have to unless we want to walk FOREVER.  "Good idea, Hailee!  Let's do it!"

Some more whining and complaining...mom handles it well

Two steps....stop.  Two steps...stop..."What time is it anyway?"  "Time for you to keep walking!"

Stop and play some more in a tree...mom is frantically taking pictures trying to get some "artistic" shots.  Not happening.  Hailee insists on taking pictures of me knocking snow on myself.  She got some good ones.  You won't be seeing those!

Made it back to the starting point..."I did totally awesome!" "Yes you did, sweetie!"  

Had some snacks and cocoa at the lodge and headed back home...about 5 minutes in the car and "ZZZZ"

It was such an amazing day for us!  Just my little peanut and me out in the middle of the wilderness where we didn't see a soul on the trail!  The best thing about it?  She can't wait to do it again!  Yay!!!

Respect

For one of Hailee's Daisy projects (that's a mini Girl Scout...smaller than a Brownie), they recently had to create a chart on which they had to earn 10 stickers for instances where they respected authority.  It was pretty much the best thing ever, because her leader explained that one example of respecting authority would be to listen to your parents the first time they asked you to do something.  Even better?  They could only put the stickers on in front of a parent...and only if it was approved as respectful behavior!

A gift from heaven...that's the only way I can explain it.  Not listening is the current challenge of the month...so this project came at a perfect time!  She was so intent on earning that badge and one mention of NOT getting a sticker and she would miraculously listen.  She had to earn 10 stickers in two weeks and I will tell you that I used each of those precious little penguins to the fullest.  "Mommy...since I got dressed right when you asked me to, do I get a sticker?"  Hmmmm....."I think you probably also need to eat breakfast, brush your teeth, make your bed and...and...and...."  Okay...so it wasn't THAT bad, but when it was down to the day of Girl Scouts, you better believe I used that last penguin to whip her into shape!  

Anyway...on the chart, they had to write three ways in which they showed respect.  Here's her list:

1.  I lisind.

2. I was hellfull.

3. I was quite in class.

Truth is, chart or not, listening or not, she's a great kid and is typically more HELPFUL then hellfull. :)   

By the way...if you want cookies, she's set on earning her very own iPod.  That's 2000 boxes, folks!

Really? Do I have to take them down?

Considering that "the holidays" have officially been over for 8 days now, I guess I need to come to terms with it.  I know that some people take their decorations down the day after Christmas, but mine are still up....every single one!  I don't even have the excuse of putting them up late and thus, keeping them up late.  Mine went up right after Thanksgiving!  

I have to wonder why it is that I'm clinging to the holidays so much this year.  Sure, part of it is just not wanting to do the work to take it all down and put it all away.  It's so much more fun to put it up!  But, I also think that it might be somewhat because this was a bit of a breakthrough year for me.  For the first time in a very long time, I sat in church on Christmas Eve and found myself feeling happy.  Truly happy.   

In the past, the holidays have been fairly difficult for me, just like I know they are for some of you and many others.  It's supposed to be a time full of joy and cheer, but reality is that we all have "stuff" in our lives and for whatever reason, the holidays tend to bring out those imperfections and amplify them.  We all have this idea of how Christmas should be and how we should feel and how it should go and when reality sets in and it's not that way...well, it can be disappointing.  It's kind of like the movies.  How many times have you gone to a movie that you've heard NOTHING about, haven't even seen a preview for and been completely blown away because you had zero expectations?  It's the best!  Now...how many times have you gone to a movie for which you've seen the previews 25 times, read the critics reviews, read the book and heard from all of your friends how wonderful it is.  Then you go and see it and your expectations are so high that you walk out feeling completely disappointed.  I think the holidays can be the same way...we all set ourselves up with hopes to have the "perfect" Christmas and then more often then not, it goes a little something like this:

We want to find the perfect gifts (and no, I won't buy you the gift right off of your list because I want to be creative.  Crap, now it's Christmas Eve and I guess that THIS weird random thing will do since the thing on your list was half the price on Black Friday and now I just can't spend that much.  Or maybe I'll do a gift card, but that's just so impersonal.  Nope...weird random thing it is.  That's way better than you picking out something that you actually WANT...like the thing on your list!).

We want to celebrate and create the perfect traditions (Let's play board games!  Don't cry because you lost...stop fighting about who gets to be the boot and who get's to be the thimble!  We will bake and decorate cookies and we will have fun doing it!  Kids....don't make such a mess and stop eating frosting! We HAVE to do this thing that we all hate, but it's tradition and we NEED to have traditions!  All happy families have traditions!).

We want the perfect Christmas card (Put on this red sweater you never wear, let me do your hair, it doesn't matter if it hurts, you just need to smile.  If you don't smile then Santa won't come. EVERYONE LOOK HAPPY!!!  Nope...that's not cute, we don't look happy.  Why do I have addresses in 25 different places?  I'm out of stamps.  It won't even get there until after Christmas...now what's the point?)  

We want the perfect tree (no kids, let's not put on the handmade ornaments from 5 years ago, let's do a theme.  Did you see the trees at Festival of Trees?  I want one like that and then I don't want you to touch it! Too bad we have to worry about little Suzy eating the tinsel because having the bottom third of the tree naked looks awful!  This candle that smells like fir just isn't the same.  Wait..we should go to the forest and GET a tree.  Why does our tree from the forest have bare patches...and why can't it be perfectly symmetrical?  We should have just put up the fake tree.)

We want to cook the perfect meal (of course I burned it, I haven't used my oven YET this year.  I don't care if you don't like that dish, it's tradition.  I shouldn't eat so much, but please pass the sweet potatoes covered in butter, sugar and marshmallows.  Ugh, why do I feel so sick and riddled with guilt?!  Good thing the New Year is right around the corner.)  

We want the perfect family time (Just pretend that Uncle Jim didn't just get out of prison.  Why does she have to DO that and SAY that?  Please pass the wine.  We haven't talked to them since last Christmas, but we SHOULD invite them over.  We need more wine.  Do I really have to wear this sweater?  But it's tradition...and we're family...so we HAVE to spend the holidays together!)  

Obviously this is a complete exaggeration...at least it is for me...and I hope it is for you!  But you get the point. 

I received so many amazing gifts (some of which were on my list...some of which were not), celebrated our awesome family traditions (including Santa Lucia, eating herring and drinking aquavit, and a new one of singing Christmas carols), ended up with a cute Christmas card (thanks to Heidi's photography) and got them out on time, have a beautiful tree (with a mixture of homemade and store bought ornaments), enjoyed several perfect meals (although my contributions were minimal) and most of all, enjoyed the family time so very much.  And, Christmas Eve I didn't have Hailee, but shared it with friends and had a wonderful time!  

All in all, I can say that the holidays this year were all that I could have hoped for.  Is my life perfect?  Absolutely not.  But it's all in what you make of it...and I finally figured out this year how to make the best of it!  Now, I GUESS, it's probably time to put it away...  

The end of an era...

Dear Red Sled (aka "the Kari Kay car"),

I'm sorry about how tonight went.  I probably should have said good-bye or at least ACTED like I was sad to see you go.  I stripped you of your plates, removed everything personal and drove off with your replacement like it was nothing.   Truth is...it's been over for awhile now.

The last six years have been full of memories...some of them good and some of them bad.  We have been through a lot and gone a lot of places together.  Unfortunately, if I'm completely honest with myself I was unhappy from the day that I met you.  Granted, when I heard those Mary Kay Directors ask "Could you get excited about a free car?" the answer was an astounding "YES!"  I wanted you and I wanted you bad.  I worked SO HARD to earn you and couldn't wait to see you for the first time.  But truthfully, it was a disappointment and a step down from my previous car.  You were so plain...no sunroof, no tinted windows, no V6 engine, no bells and whistles.  Yes, you had those Mary Kay decals (that I had to stick on), but that was about it.  I tried to love you as my own and when the lease ran out, I struggled with what to do.  I almost walked away then, but with no better options, I stayed.  Over the years I've struggled with what to do and gone back and forth wondering if we could make it work.  And every time, I decided to hang on.  Until today.

I'm sorry that I didn't take better care of you.  I'm sorry that when that front windshield trim came loose I just tore it off and never replaced it.  I'm sorry when we hit that raccoon that I let that piece drag for awhile before using duct tape to bring it up off the ground.  I'm sorry that I wore a hole in the floor from my high heels.  I'm sorry that I didn't keep you clean and that I only got you detailed one time.  And really, that was only so I could get the best price for you.  I'm sorry that I let Hailee eat and drink and trash the backseat.  And I'm sorry that you had to hear her say "Mommy, let's get rid of this garbage can!"  

But you know what, it's not just my fault.  Sure, I could have given you more love, but really?  What did you expect me to do with all of that random ticking noise that I know you did just to drive me crazy!  Tick tick.  Tick tick tick.  I never knew when you were going to do it or what caused it, but it seems like you would choose those moments when one more thing was going to push me over the edge and then...tick....tick tick tick tick tick.  I tried to ignore you.  I even tried to make a fun little game out of it...hoping it would stop being fun for you.  "Hailee...our pet squirrel is making that noise again!"  It didn't work.

And then there was the driver side window.  I think you tried to get someone to steal you.  That's the only reason I can think that the key lock would be pushed INTO the door.  And every time I put the window down, the CLUNK CLUNK was a painful reminder of the fact that you didn't want to be with me anymore.

I hope you understand that it was time.  Time to let go.  I need more....more room...more power...more ability to go places that I want to go.  I hope you understand and I hope you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.

All the best,
Kari

(PS...for those of you who might be shopping for a 2004 Red Grand Am (come on, who isn't), don't buy it from Dennis Dillon.  Just sayin'.)

'Tis the season...

Those of you who know me well know that I'm a horrible procrastinator.  Every year I tell myself that I will get my Christmas shopping done early and be totally ready for Christmas.  I actually am!!!  I finished up my shopping this weekend and was feeling all "ahead of the game and stuff" and then realized that Christmas is only a few days away!  So I'm not as on top of things as I thought, but for me this is HUGE!   

I love Christmas and everything about it.  I love the decorations.  I love buying gifts for people.  I LOVE getting Christmas cards, especially now that everyone sends picture cards.  I love the parties.  I love the traditions.  I love the excitement in children.  I love the meaning. I even love the music.  The ONE thing I don't love?  Wrapping gifts. 

We have had our tree up since the day after Thanksgiving, but the only thing that's been under it is a tree skirt.  And, every once in awhile a little grey kitty who likes the tree skirt.  All weekend long I kept thinking "I really should wrap gifts," but thinking about it was as far as it got.

Well...tonight the best thing EVER happened!  Upon arriving home, Hailee saw the stack of presents (not hers, mind you) in my bedroom corner that accumulated last week and said "We should wrap presents!" 

Inside voice:  Excuse me, what? We? You want to help do this thing that I loathe?  I don't have to do it ALL?  And you WANT to do this?  Without me bribing you or saying Santa won't come if you don't?   

Outside voice:  What a great idea!  You grab the paper and the bows and I'll get the presents out to the living room! 

I have to say that it was the most fun I've had wrapping gifts and it will definitely be a team effort from here on out.  We chatted and giggled and talked about Christmas.  Apparently the child is just flat out disappointed in all of these kids that don't understand that we are celebrating Jesus's birthday, but that's a whole different post.

Now granted, I did most of the wrapping.  She did wrap one gift....beginning to end.  And, it will be pretty obvious to my family which one it is.  I wonder who the lucky winner will be..... But, I have to say that I'm no expert gift wrapper either and some of mine didn't turn out much better.  The gift tags, however, are AMAZING! :)  

It took her awhile, but as she finished up the one gift, I told her what I great job she had done and that I was really impressed.  "Yeah, mom....that's how I roll!"