Not just skeletons in there...

This past weekend I decided that I was going to go through a "cleanse" of sorts.  No, I'm not talking about one of those diets where you only eat strange mixtures of fruit and vegetable juices and eat tasteless foods, but the kind where you remove clutter from your life.  Although, I do have to admit that part of me is curious about that other kind.  I just love food too much...I'd last one day.  Anyway, we all have clutter in our lives...things that we really should let go of, but have a hard time doing so for one reason or another.  Whether it's an object or a person or even thoughts...we all have it. 

So...in my mission to cleanse, I decided to start with THE closet.  You know the one.  The one that you shove everything in.  The one that holds everything that you probably should get rid of. The one that no matter how hard you try, it's never organized.  The one that when opened, things come flying out. 

Turns out, it was a perfect place to start, and ended up being a very therapeutic exercise.  I went through every little box and found some very interesting things...

• Ticket stubs from various concerts that I've been to.  I have tried to save these over the years so I can look back and remember who I've seen and who I haven't.  One would think that I could remember such things, but I love concerts. And I go to a lot of them. And I forget who I've seen.  Case in point...some of you will remember this summer that Heidi and I went down to SLC to see Jack Johnson in concert.  I LOVE him and have been DYING to see him for several years.  Guess what I found?  Ticket stub to Jack Johnson and Ben Harper at the Idaho Center.  Yup....here I thought this summer that I was seeing him for the first time.  Not so much.    

• My baby teeth.  This was in a box of "childhood" items and as soon as I picked up the box and gave it a little shake, I had my suspicions of what it was.  Apparently they got transferred from the metal band-aid box that I found as a child and into a little jewelry box.  I love my mom for thinking that someday I might want them.  But I don't. They went in the trash.  Sorry!  I did think for one second that maybe I should pull one out and pretend to find it in my mom's lawn, but decided against it.  See previous blog entry for explanation... 

• In that same box, I found hair from my first hair cut.  I showed it to Hailee and she thought it was kind of weird to keep hair.  I agreed with her and actually said "Why would you keep hair?"  Guess what I found in another box?  Hair from Hailee's first haircut. 

• Letters and letters and more letters.  Back in the olden days before email, my friends and I wrote letters back and forth.  I still remember my Freshman year of college and checking my little mailbox in the dorm.  I loooooved getting letters from my friends and I kept every single one of them.  I read through a few the other day and all I can say is Jill, Debbie and Sibyl....I have SO MUCH dirt on you!  

I love that closet...it has so many memories tucked away in it.  Boxes and boxes of pictures, boxes of childhood items, picture frames, home decor stuff, boxes of Hailee's art, boxes of cards and boxes of some things that I should probably get rid of, but will hang onto until the next go-round.  But...I organized my clutter and I did throw away a whole bag of things that it was just time to part with.  It's amazing what a little clutter removal can do for the soul... 

A week of thanks....Thursday

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!  I hope that you all spent the day exactly how you wanted to...I know that I loved every minute of it!  Hailee and I snuggled in bed, painted our nails and toes, cooked our portion of dinner, Hailee made place cards for the table and I even got a workout in!  Then we headed over to my sister's house to have dinner with her family and my parents.  I love that I only had to travel five minutes to spend the holiday with my family that I love so much!     

Speaking of love...I felt so loved today!  All day long I received so many well wishes and it just warmed my heart!  I think that although we have become a society that doesn't communicate verbally as much, we definitely have become a society that communicates more, just in general.  Between texting, tweeting, posting, emailing, poking, blogging and occasionally calling, I know that I communicate on much more of a regular basis then I would if letter writing and phone calls were still the only two options.  I love that when I'm thinking of someone I can quickly let them know.  Maybe that's sad, but I think it's great.

Since it's been a day full of it, and I've already used the word too many times...what I'm thankful for #3: love.

I don't know if any of us can really define love.  I know that I can't...mostly because there are so many different forms.  There's love for your child, love for your friends, romantic love, love for a moment, love for your parents, love for a thing...they are all so different.  For me, sometimes it can feel scary.  But mostly, it just feels good.  When I love someone or something and am in that moment, I feel almost like a balloon...like I'm filling up on the inside.  Then I get the goosebumps, take a deep breath and this calm just comes over me.  It happens all the time with Hailee.  It happens often when I'm in the beautiful outdoors and looking at a spectacular view.  It happens when I squeeze on my niece and nephew.  It happens when I'm being held.  It happens when I'm at church. It happens when I share a great talk with a friend. It even happens sometimes when I have a REALLY great cup of coffee.  Okay...so it happens A LOT.  But what can I say, I love to love and I love to be loved, and I am thankful for that.  Sometimes I'm not the greatest at showing it...but that is a work in progress.   

Okay...after all of that lovey dovey stuff...I do have to admit that much of what inspired me to write on the subject of love for today was the following scenario, pulled straight from tonight...

After dinner, as we sat and ate dessert, my nephew Ben made a comment about there being no "punkin" pie.  I, for one, was thrilled because I cannot STAND pumpkin pie.  In fact, it makes me gag.  There are VERY few foods on this earth that I won't eat...that is one of them.  Anyway...Mike followed Ben's comment  up with "Well Ben, what did YOU make for dinner?" At the age of four, no one expected him to actually contribute, but Mike was trying to make the point that maybe he should be thankful for what everyone DID make.  Ben responded with a silly smile and said "Nooooooooothing."  After a brief pause, Hailee pipes in with  "Love.  Ben made love for dinner."  Yep.  She did.  She really did.  As you would expect, all of the adults burst into laughter.  Not knowing why we were laughing, but wanting to ride that wave, Hailee continues with "Ben always makes love for every meal. He makes love all the time."  Oh, to be young and sweet again....

  

A week of thanks...Wednesday

Okay...back on track...thankfully. As I'm sitting down to write my entry for today, I was feeling stressed out about which things to pick to write about to fit into this predetermined schedule that I've given myself.  So far, it's just been about whatever I'm feeling at the moment, but then I was like "Well I want to write about my friends and Heidi and of COURSE Hailee and...and...and...THERE AREN'T ENOUGH DAYS!!!!"  Hello, silly.  Read Monday's entry and apply.  I could write a "I'm thankful for..." post every single day for the next year if I wanted to!  Hey...maybe I could be one of those people that starts with a blog, gets "discovered" and then ends up becoming a world renown writer, or has a TV show or a book and makes a gazillion dollars just doing what they love!  Just imagine the headline...Woman starts blog on being thankful and, wow, is she thankful NOW!   Okay, probably not.  But a girl can dream.

That being said, I have all the time in the world to write about the things that I cherish and love, so what I'm thankful for #2:  friends.  Old friends, new friends, across the miles friends and down the street friends.  I'm am SO BLESSED in this department and don't know what on earth I would do without friends!  No matter what point you are in your life, friends make such a difference and in totally different ways.  Think about it...

When you're a kid...it's all about playing.  Let's pretend this and let's play that.  You are this and I am that.  Playing with friends is the best thing EVER!  Oh...and by the way...we are BEST friends.   

When you're a teenager...it's all about being popular.  The more friends you have, the more popular you are.  The more SWATCH watches you have on your arms, the better (was that a blast from the past or what?)  Friendships are still pretty superficial at this time in life I think, because no one REALLY knows who they are yet.  I do still have friends from High School that I adore, but if it weren't for Facebook, would we be in touch still?  I'm not sure...but I'm sure glad we are!   

When you get to college...that's where you meet your friends for life.  You're away from home and really begin to grow and find yourself.  It's all about sharing the experience and building memories...which is a strong foundation for friendships.  Birds of a feather flock together, right?

When you become an adult...you meet people at work, at church, in the neighborhood, through other friends and the crazy thing is that you never know who you're really going to connect with.  It depends so much on where you are in your life when you meet them...married, single, with kids, without, career focused, unemployed....the list goes on.  But how amazing is it to meet someone with whom you can really relate to and talk to about whatever it is that you have going on at that point in time? 

It's kind of like a big patchwork quilt.  You start out with a blankie when you're little, but as you grow, you add a new patch here, a new patch there.  You might even remove patches, or mend patches, or just make changes to the patches.  But, when the going gets tough, you have a great big quilt to comfort you and get you through whatever it is that you're going through.  And one of the greatest things about true friends...that no matter how much time goes by...you can pick right up where you left last time and it's just okay. 

I am so blessed to have a big ol' amazing quilt of friends.  Some of my patches are old and fading because they've been there for a long time.  Some are brand new, but definitely there to stay.  Some have more stains from my tears then others.  Some have more wine stains then others.  Some are super soft and some are made of stronger material.  Those in the middle are key to keeping it all together.  Some are around the edges and get less use.  Regardless, they've all served a very important purpose in my life and I hope I've done the same for them.  All I know is that with my patchwork quilt, I can get through just about anything.  

Just some of my dear friends on my 35th birthday.

A week of thanks...Tuesday (on Wednesday)

I should have known that me and my procrastinating ways could only get ONE post out on time.  I did it to myself...by adding the silly day of the week label!  But you know what?  It's my blog and I'll do what I want.   That being said, I'm going to switch it up a bit...

Last night, I had one of the best dates ever.  Hailee and I went  to dinner just the two of us at our favorite place, Flatbread.  I'm so lucky that she loves it as much as I do...because I LOVE it!  It was one of those nights where we were both in great moods and just happy to be with each other and it was so much fun!  We sat and talked about all kinds of things, giggled a bunch and I had several of those "Mommy Moments" where I just stared at her in wonderment that she's mine.  She is growing up so fast and it just amazes me.  She's six years old and we sat and had a conversation like I would with one of my girlfriends!  I'm not naive to think that she's always going to like hanging out with me, but for now I'm going to take full advantage!  Don't get me wrong...we don't always have these perfect moments.  There is plenty of arguing, foot stomping, crying, yelling, complaining and whining that goes on.  But I'm not the only one that acts like that...she does it too!    

So...back to dinner.  We were talking about Thanksgiving and I reminded her that we like to share at dinner the things that we're thankful for, so to start thinking about that.  She immediately responded with "Oh...I have like 1200 things!"  Wow...that's one thankful little girl!  So, I grabbed a pen and a napkin and asked her to share with me ten of those 1200 things.  Here's her list:

- clothes
- freedom
- love
- God
- family
- friends
- teachers
- food
- nature
- life

Do you know what I love about her list?  There's nothing materialistic on it...no toys...no things.  It's a list from a little girl that appreciates the things in life that really matter...and she didn't have any coaching!  Well, not while she was making the list anyway.  There's been lots of coaching along the way, and I'm just happy to see that it's paying off and that I'm doing something right.  In fact, in looking through it, it's pretty similar to what my list would be, other than my top ten may need to include coffee. 

 

A week of thanks...Monday

In honor of this week of thanks, I thought I would take some time to reflect on the things in my life that I am most thankful for.  Turns out, I'm not the only one thinking along these lines...the message at church on Sunday was focused on it, the news is full of feel-good stories, and of course Facebook.  Seems that everyone is talking about being thankful lately.  What's up with that?  Maybe it has something to do with a little something we like to call Thanksgiving.... 

Do you know what seems weird to me?  How many people REALLY care about the actual holiday and what it represents?  I'll be honest and say that I could really care less about the Pilgrims and the Indians and the meal that they had together, blah, blah, blah.  Sorry if you do...but I really doubt that you do.  What is it about a Thursday in the middle of November that inspires us all to gather with friends and family and take time to stop and appreciate each other and our blessings? Shouldn't we all really try to do that on more of a regular basis?  It seems so easy to get wrapped up in our day-to-day stresses and hardships and to forget about how fortunate we really are in life.  I know that I'm guilty.  Totally guilty.  I do it all the time, even though I try my best to not...I'm worried about this and stressed about that and grumpy about this and feeling sorry for myself about that.  Then all of sudden, it's time for Turkey Day and I'm all about being thankful!  Thankful that I only have to work one more day this week, thankful that there's lots of great sales going on, thankful that I don't have to cook the turkey, and REALLY thankful that my mom has decided NOT to make pumpkin pie for dessert this year.  

I kid... Well, sort of.  I AM thankful for all of those things, but those certainly are not what I'm TRULY thankful for. This week I'm going to try and write every day about the things that I am TRULY thankful for.  And...in no particular order.  Seester...you already know that you're gonna be in the mix somewhere, so don't feel bad that I'm writing about the folks first.  I'm just doing it out of respect.  And...because I love them more. (wink)

So...what I'm thankful for #1:  my parents.  Also known as Mommy and Daddy.  Yes...for real.  I call them that.  And so does Heidi, but she'll probably deny it.  We both went through a period in Jr High/High School where we tried to call them Mom & Dad like everyone else and it just felt weird.  And we really only did it when we were in front of our friends, so I'm sure our parents were laughing on the inside.  They knew we'd come around....and we did.  And now we even do it in front of people...most of the time.    

Plain and simple, my parents are amazing people and I am so, so, so lucky to have them so close for so many reasons.  First and foremost I love that Hailee gets to spend so much time with them and is so close with her Mormor and Morfar (Swedish 101:  Mormor = Mother's mother and Morfar = Mother's father).  If you don't know, my mom is from Sweden.  We didn't just randomly choose to call them that to seem eccentric or cultured or something.  Hailee is always THRILLED to go over to their house and loves them so much.  Growing up, we never lived close to either set of grandparents and I always felt like I missed out a little.  Especially growing up in Idaho Falls.  My friends would have 25 people at Thanksgiving dinner and that was just the immediate family.  We had four.  Point being...I know that Hailee will grow up to treasure the relationship that she has with them and I love that they are in her very earliest memories. 

I'm also thankful because they continue to be such great examples to me.  Even though I'm a mature adult with very little left to learn (cough cough), I still continue to learn great life lessons from them every time I'm with them.  They just celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary yesterday and that is something that I admire so much.  I'm sure they've have their ups and downs, but they've worked through it and have such a strong marriage and still are very much in love.   I can't even say that I remember very many instances growing up where they seemed to be having problems.  I'm sure that they did like every married couple...so either they were great about hiding it, or the moments were so horrific that I've blocked them from my mind.  Pretty sure it's the first one...

My mom is always so thoughtful and giving and always has a smile on her face.  Always.  No matter what.  She is amazing in the kitchen and has the patience of a saint.  My dad has taught me to make smart decisions...and to pack a car and make campfires like a champ!  Now I'm not saying that all of my decisions have been GOOD ones, but they have certainly been well thought out! 

Both of my parents are a great example of strength to me, because of what they've been through the last few years.  My dad is struggling with an incurable and rare disease and still manages to have a good attitude about it all.  His quality of life is quickly lessening, but not once have I heard him complain about it and he still manages to have a smile on his face whenever I see him. My mom takes care of him 100% of the time and although I can't imagine the emotional strain that she must be under, she also has such a positive attitude.  Every time I go and spend time with them, I realize that I have nothing to complain about.  They could be miserable and grouchy and bitter about their situation...God knows that I've felt that way about certain circumstances in my life.  But, they aren't.  They are the same Mommy and Daddy that I've known for the last 30-ish years...and they just keep on keepin' on day in and day out.  Every single time I leave their house, I think about how amazing my life truly is.  And even when it's hard, it's still so much better than the lives of so many others.  

Anyway...I want them and everyone else to know how thankful I am for them and the life that they've provided me.  And I'm going to try and do more to make sure they know it...on a regular basis.     

 



     

Picture Perfect?

Every morning Hailee and I get ready together.  Some mornings it's a very enjoyable experience and we have some good chats about life.  Most mornings it's a very frustrating experience, as I'm almost always running late and don't have time to look at this or that or answer this question or, or, or, or...  And honestly, sometimes I just want to drink my coffee, put on my mascara and listen to the radio...ALONE.  I love my baby girl to death, but if she's awake and doesn't have food in her mouth, she's talking.  Not necessarily TO me, but still...her mouth is moving and sound is coming out.  And sometimes it's just more than I can handle in the morning.  Can any of you moms relate?  

Anyway...the other day we were having one of the enjoyable mornings.  We weren't running late (Shocker.), my first sips of coffee had set in (Ahhhh....) and she wasn't arguing with me about how to do her hair (Unusual.).  I could tell that she was thinking about something (that's the other time that she isn't talking) and out of nowhere she says quite seriously "Mommy, I think I know something you don't."  Gulp.  Not exactly the words that a mother likes to hear.  However, I do have to say that I have become quite accustomed to hearing semi-shocking information over the last few years and there's really nothing that anyone can say at this point that would shock me.  Some of you know what I mean, some of you will just have to wait for the Lifetime movie to come out.

Okay...Deep breath in.  "Hailee, what is it?"  Then, in a genuinely concerned voice, she says "I'm worried because I think if you're pretty when you're little, that you don't grow up to be pretty."  Deep exhale. 

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, because I saw a picture of you when you were younger and you're a lot prettier now."

"You don't think Mommy was pretty as a kid?"

"You were kind of weird looking.  But now you're really pretty.  Since I'm pretty now, then maybe I won't be pretty when I grow up."

First of all, I'm very happy that Hailee thinks/knows that she's adorable.  I just hope and pray that she will continue to build that confidence and self-esteem through these growing years.  I think that's the hardest thing for kiddos to get, especially girls. But, it can make all the difference in the choices that they make.  However, it concerns me that at such a young age there is already the focus on being pretty.  I never want her to have confidence based solely on her appearance.  With so much focus on it in the media, how do we as parents instill that how you look isn't everything?  We did have a quick talk about how she's also smart, funny and a good person, which are traits that mean much more than being pretty.  I guess I'll just continue to have more of those same conversations with her and hope that it works.  Come to think of it, that's pretty much what parenting is all about though, isn't it?  You try your best to do what you can and just hope that they turn out okay!    

Second of all, weird looking?  Really?  Ouch.  That one hurt.  At least she thinks I'm pretty now, I guess!  I need to figure out which picture she's talking about.  It must have been one from between about third grade and college.  Let's just say that I wasn't the prettiest girl in school, but I was smart and a good person and maybe a little bit funny.

Another lost tooth...literally!

So...you know how kids are.  Once something cool happens to them, they want more.  Okay...that's a silly thing to say.  It's not like adults AREN'T that way!? 

Anyway...two weeks to the day after the loss of Hailee's first tooth, her constant pulling and tugging paid off and she lost tooth #2.  As that day approached, we had several conversations regarding what to do with the tooth once it came out and how to make sure we didn't accidently lose it like the first one (see previous blog entry if you have no idea what I'm talking about).

This one came out at school and promptly was placed in a darling little treasure chest and put directly in Hailee's backpack.  I got an email from her teacher saying "We MAY be coming home with a tooth today...wink...wink..." so I was expecting a big hoo-rah when I went to pick her up from my mom's house. 

She wasn't quite as excited and had forgot to even mention it to my mom, but proudly pulled out the treasure chest and showed me.  It made it home...atta kid.  Guard down.  Big mistake.

As we were leaving, her little friend was walking by and of course she had to show her the tooth.  So, little treasure chest in hand, she ran across the lawn to meet her friend at the edge, pulled out the treasure chest, opened it up and in her excitement popped it right out.  Onto the lawn.  The kind made of millions of pieces of grass.  The kind that no matter how hard you try, there's no way you can find a little baby tooth in it. 

Needless to say, the toothfairy made a second visit to our house, but again was sent away with no tooth.  Geez....good thing my mom worked so hard to make Hailee a toothfairy pillow...will it ever hold a tooth?  I'm ALMOST certain that the toothfairy is tired of paying out money for nothing and has given Hailee her last chance.  Maybe if she didn't have a "No matter what I still get the money" attitude, things would be different.  We'll see about that.... 

Toothfairy Time

Well, it happened.  My baby girl is no longer a baby.  Hailee's first week of First Grade simultaneously came to a close with the loss of her first tooth.

She was at my mom's house after school, so I wasn't there for the historical event.  However, I will try to recount the series of events as told to me by Hailee: 

Well, I was eating a piece of hard candy and tried to bite it.  Then all of a sudden I was like "Is that a little rock in my mouth?" So I reached in and grabbed it and it was my tooth!  Then I went running right into the office to tell Mormor and I was like "I lost my tooth! I lost my tooth!"   


To say that Hailee was excited is an understatement.  She has been wishing for months now that she would lose a tooth.  Most of her friends in school lost several last year, so she was feeling a little left out.  Seeing the excitement in her face when I went to pick her up made my heart smile.  She had her tooth in a little ziploc bag and couldn't wait to show me.

Well, of course that little ziploc just HAD to go into Red Robin with us when we went to dinner.  Unfortunately, it was about an hour after we left when we realized that the little baggy never made it out of the restaurant.  As I came to the hard and fast assumption that the tooth was discarded amongst the unwanted french fries and napkins covered in ketchup, I felt my heart rate increase with anticipation of a complete meltdown.

Long story short, we drove to Red Robin to see if it was there.  Of course the hostess felt horrible and offerred up balloons and ice cream...but it was gone.  Turns out...they found it on the table, called the toothfairy and she came and picked it up there!  Who knew?  And...because she's the toothfairy, she still knew exactly where to leave the dollar.  She put some extra miles on those wings that night...but I had one happy little girl!
   
Oh...and our Saturday night movie choice?  The Toothfairy, of course!

(Note:  I meant to post this back in September...when it actually happened!  Oops!)